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  The A+F agony aunts.
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   Author  Topic: The A+F agony aunts.  (Read 33183 times)
jen10
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1110 on: February 17, 2009, 11:52:52 am »
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Quote from: Young&Desperate 4Attention{DA} on February 17, 2009, 11:48:35 am   

Thanks for the quick reply

I have thought about doing that, but it's like... we've been best friends for the past 6 years and it's hard to just let that go

yeah, that is the way i felt with nina...she was my best friend for a long time. then she turned into a pysco b****. she was always spreading untrue rumors about me, letting her "friends" pick on me and such. then i was like, "i don't need this." i totally dropped her. i know how you feel. how can i do this to a friend? but if you really think its going over the top, you gotta do something, right? i was sad when i dumped her. only just recently, she emailed me asking to be friends again and that she would never hurt me. i gave her one last chance. i hope it goes well. my mom says that if she does it again, i can totally drop her. i hope i'm helping. i know how you feel.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2009, 05:06:48 pm by jen10 » Report to moderator   Logged
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1111 on: February 17, 2009, 11:56:36 am »
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You're so right... Those are wise words... Oh I guess I need to make some decisions, right?
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jen10
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1112 on: February 17, 2009, 12:01:08 pm »
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Quote from: Young&Desperate 4Attention{DA} on February 17, 2009, 11:56:36 am   

You're so right... Those are wise words... Oh I guess I need to make some decisions, right?

yes...and sometimes, it can be painful. when i dropped her, i realized that it wasnt my fault. and i was going to move on, but then she came back. i guess we'll see how that goes. i hope all goes well for you.

p.s: i have wise words...wow, thanks!
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1113 on: February 17, 2009, 12:03:58 pm »
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Yeah, for a 13-year-old, you have wise words

Oh well I guess you are right, I will have one last talk with her and tell her I'm not the only one to see it and then I really need to make clear I can't deal with it anymore and that it will be her one last chance
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jen10
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1114 on: February 17, 2009, 12:05:59 pm »
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Quote from: Young&Desperate 4Attention{DA} on February 17, 2009, 12:03:58 pm   

Yeah, for a 13-year-old, you have wise words

Oh well I guess you are right, I will have one last talk with her and tell her I'm not the only one to see it and then I really need to make clear I can't deal with it anymore and that it will be her one last chance

i hope it goes well. you can PM me when you tell her and tell me how it went if you want.
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1115 on: February 17, 2009, 12:18:04 pm »
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I will, thank you You're so sweet, haha
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jen10
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1116 on: February 17, 2009, 01:41:26 pm »
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Quote from: Young&Desperate 4Attention{DA} on February 17, 2009, 12:18:04 pm   

I will, thank you You're so sweet, haha

thank, you, haha. you are too.
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1117 on: February 18, 2009, 12:56:29 pm »
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Good luck pamela.  I agree with what Jen said - clearly she isn't going to listen to you asking her nicely.  Do you really want a friend who thinks more of herself than you?
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1118 on: February 19, 2009, 12:21:48 am »
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Hmm... Perhaps you have heard the phrase, "Bros before Hos." ... I've always sort of felt this way about things. Granted, that's more of a "guy's" phrase, but whatever. It still rings true in my book. My best friend and I have been best friends for almost 11 years now, and she will always be my best friend. I couldn't imagine life without her. I have never, ever been willing to let a boy ruin that, and I never will. I honestly don't think there will ever be a boy important enough to me that I would risk destroying my friendship with her. 

How long have you known this fellow that you are in love with? Are you two actually dating, or is it more of a crush right now?

I think before you decide to "dump" your friend of six years, you should step back and really think about things for a minute. Your friend is being immature, yes. But would you actually gain more if you pushed her out of your life? Is this boy you fancy worth more than your friend? And will "dumping" her even really solve anything? Do you think it would stop her from being all over him if you two were suddenly not friends anymore?

You've said that she's an attention wh*re (for lack of a better term), so she may just do it subconsciously. I would try to encourage her to pursue her own male interests instead of yours. Or be like, "omg, Bob was totally checking you out. That sexy man beast. I'm so jealous." See if you can get her to focus her attention on other guys.

You could also try telling her WHEN she's doing it instead of after. If she's all up on your man flirting, send her a text and be like, "see, this is the kind of stuff that annoys me. I wish you'd stop being like that with him." Maybe her definition of flirting and your definition of flirting are not exactly the same and she doesn't realize exactly -what- she is doing that makes you mad.

That's just what I think about it, though. I hope you all can get it worked out.
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Stop reading my signature. Don't deny it. You're reading it. I can see you. You're giving it the casual little once-over. How rude. Didn't your mother teach you better?
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1119 on: February 19, 2009, 12:13:43 pm »
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Thank you Jess, that's some helpful thoughts you have there.

I've been best friends with her for 6 years and I've known that guy for 5 now. We dated a couple of times, we kissed a couple of times and I am truly in love with him. He's been my all time crush for the entire friendship and I've fallen in love with him deeply since like... September 2008, so I'd say, it's not a simple crush.

I know, I've always said "Ho's over bro's" lol and I've always said my girls come before guys. And I'm not chosing him over her, she made the decision by doing what she does.

I've told her last Tuesday that I didn't like the way she acted and that this boy had come up to me and had told me he and his friends thought they were together and she got all annoyed and angry with me. She said it's a ridiculous thing to think and to say and blabla and I told her how I felt and she was like: "It's pointless talking about this, right now" so I asked her why and she said: "We always have this same conversation over and over again" So she knows!! She knows she's not doing the right thing, obviously, but she just won't change!

I've never ever asked for anything other than for her to be there for me when I need her. Never. Except for her to back off a little when it comes to Vincent. She can have EVERY man in the world, I wouldn't give a shizz, but just not HIM.

Vincent means alot to me. I told him I liked him alot and he told me we'd date and see what'd happen. So we did. Then he kissed a random girl right in front of me and I got angry with him. He felt really guilty and told me it meant nothing to him to kiss her and that he was so sorry and he'd never do it again. I asked him what was up between me and him and he told me he'd liked me all along, but that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone right now. But he still likes me and when we hung out alot together, he liked me ALOT more than when we didn't get together as much. So that's what I'm trying to do: I'm trying to spend alot of time together so that he will like me as much as he did and to get him to fall in love with me. It takes alot of time and patience, but he's worth it.

My best friend is worth a whole lot more, I know, no need telling me that. But in our last convo, she said it was a pointless thing talking about and she told me she wasn't going to talk about it anymore and that I could talk all I wanted, but that she wouldn't respond. So I asked her if she'd ever talk about it and all she said was: "I don't know... I guess so" She hasn't talked to me since and it's been 2 days straight right now. I've put so much effort into our relationship and I love her to death but I don't know how much more I can take. I can't let go of our friendship, I just can't. I love her too much and I can't either imagine life without her. She knows all about me and I know all about her.

I'm sad and disappointed in her for doing this to me. She hasn't talked to me, so she obviously knows she's been wrong. I just hope she'll come up to me soon to talk about it.
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1120 on: February 19, 2009, 03:40:13 pm »
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Hmm... Maybe you two just need a bit of a "break" from each other. Take a little space and figure things out. Maybe she's trying to sort all this out herself. Just give her a few days and let her come back to you. Hopefully she'll have a renewed attitude. Either way, I'm not a fan of burning bridges. There's a chance that you two may drift apart because of this, but if you do... let it happen naturally. I wouldn't suggest spurting off "I'm sick of you! we're not friends anymore!" because you may regret saying it later.

HOPEFULLY she'll realize what she's doing and stop. I really do hope this all works out for you. Just try to be understanding and patient. Usually with enough time and love, things will sort themselves out.  Good luck.
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Stop reading my signature. Don't deny it. You're reading it. I can see you. You're giving it the casual little once-over. How rude. Didn't your mother teach you better?
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1121 on: February 20, 2009, 09:48:12 am »
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Well today I sat with this friend and she was there too and this friend is like friends with both of us and tonight we're going clubbin' with a whole lotta friends and she was like: You two need to talk and I was like: "Yeah, well it's not up to me anymore, I am ready, but it takes two, you know" and she said yeah true.... and then she asked Almira and she just plainly said: "Yeah, well I know what to expect and I don't feel like that right now, I don't wanna talk about." But, that other friend had just told me that Almira had told her that she felt bad and she understood me but that she felt like she had to change too much for me and that she didn't want to change too much and she told her that she felt it was hard to figure out when she was crossing the line

I don't want our friendship to end, I want us to be okay again. We've never had a fall out like this, this is so new... We usually just have disagreements, but then everything is alright again in a couple of minutes but now... It just hurts like hell and I don't know what to do because I don't feel like I did anything wrong and I obviously don't wanna give up on us and I want her to talk to me, but you know, like I said, it takes two to make a conversation and right now it's just me on my own.
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jen10
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1122 on: February 21, 2009, 10:01:39 am »
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aww, i am so sorry. young&desperate, i hope she realizes what you mean and will stop for good so it will stop hurting you.
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1123 on: February 22, 2009, 08:28:35 am »
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Thanks Jen (Call me Pamela or something like that BTW, that's my name )

So last Friday we went clubbin', Vincent was also there and she didn't flirt at all with him! She was actually behaving like a good friend would. She obviously did dance with him, but I didn't mind at all, because they're friends you know. So I liked it alot last Friday

I actually just told her I was happy with it and now we're talking again, so let's see what will happen.
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jen10
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1124 on: February 22, 2009, 03:36:05 pm »
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Quote from: Young&Desperate 4Attention{DA} on February 22, 2009, 08:28:35 am   

Thanks Jen (Call me Pamela or something like that BTW, that's my name )

So last Friday we went clubbin', Vincent was also there and she didn't flirt at all with him! She was actually behaving like a good friend would. She obviously did dance with him, but I didn't mind at all, because they're friends you know. So I liked it alot last Friday

I actually just told her I was happy with it and now we're talking again, so let's see what will happen.

i guess the praying for you worked, haha. i did pray for you. i am glad things are getting better.
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