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  I'm Scared That I Might Have A Stalker
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NowhereGirl
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I'm Scared That I Might Have A Stalker
« on: May 26, 2004, 07:50:09 pm »

Yesterday I went rollarblading and I met this guy on the way to the park. He said hello and I said hello back and asked me if I was going to the park. I said yes and he followed on his bike. We rode through the park then we sat down for a break and we got to know each other a little. It wasn't anything bad, just asked questions like where we live, age (he's one year older than me, 17), siblings, etc. Well anyway, he said he liked me and that I was a "respectful girl".  He asked for my number and I said I didn't like giving it out, then he offered his to me. Before I could answer he said how he always plays basketball at my old elementry school and all this stuff. THEN, he asked if I wanted to come to his house but I said I had to go home for supper and do homework (he wanted me to meet him somewhere later on) He rode with me halfway through the park and said goodbye.

Now I'm kind of afraid to go rollarblading again because I might see him and I'm kind of uncertain about him. I mean, he seems like such a nice and friendly guy and everything and I'd love to get together to play basketball with himbut I dunno! I've never been in that situation before. I also made the mistake of saying to him "I'm always out rollarblading around here so you're bound to see me again." I didn't mean to, I was just trying to say stuff so that I wouldn't have to get his number or plan to meet with him again

EDIT: Also want to mention that he's black, and I'm not. So it was really unexpected the way he acted.
« Last Edit: May 26, 2004, 09:27:12 pm by canadianfan » Report to moderator   Logged


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Re:I'm Scared That I Might Have A Stalker
« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2004, 08:56:18 pm »

Oh, wow...hmmm....this one's a toughy. Erm...I'd go rollerblading again (maybe not right away). You shouldn't let him stop you from doing what you love. That's not fair.

If you don't want to be mean and totally ditch him, then why don't you suggest doing something in a group? Instead of one-on-one basketball, how about a game with some of yours and his friends?

That way #1) If he tries to do anything then you have help...not that he will, just as a precaution, and #2) You can ask their opinion on what they think of him. I'm sure if they actually saw him and what he acted like then they could judge him better than any one of us could.

Hope I helped! Tell us what happens.
« Last Edit: May 26, 2004, 08:57:10 pm by *gLinDa* » Report to moderator   Logged

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Re:I'm Scared That I Might Have A Stalker
« Reply #2 on: May 26, 2004, 09:03:28 pm »

Hmm... interesting.  I wouldn't say 'stalker'... to me, stalkers don't give their information they just try to get it out of you. It sounds like he's just being too friendly, maybe? Moving a bit to fast for you to like.  Maybe if you ask him just to back off a bit?

I agree with Glinda, you shouldn't make him stop doing what you love.
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Re:I'm Scared That I Might Have A Stalker
« Reply #3 on: May 26, 2004, 09:39:55 pm »

Yeah--just keep up your routine, but also be really firm and establish clear boundaries if he approaches you again. Your instincts are telling you that he's trouble--or at the very least, wants more than friendship. I wouldn't advise hanging out with him unless you also want to be more than friends.
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Re:I'm Scared That I Might Have A Stalker
« Reply #4 on: May 26, 2004, 09:42:33 pm »

I personally don't like people who force themselves on me like that, so I try to make it clear, in a firm tone, that I would prefer to be left alone.  Not to be mean or anything, just to make sure they understand.  Because if you wait too long to say that (especially if you don't get a good vibe from him) then he might not take you seriously.

So I guess my post is more cautionary.  But you have to trust your gut on this one because there is not set rule for this type of situation. 
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Re:I'm Scared That I Might Have A Stalker
« Reply #5 on: May 27, 2004, 01:25:08 am »

Well, since you are worried about thsi, just if you go out rollerblading with a friend or someone else so you're not alone. I personally don't think he's a "stalker," but I guess it's better to be safe than sorry.



Quote from: canadianfan on May 26, 2004, 07:50:09 pm   


EDIT: Also want to mention that he's black, and I'm not. So it was really unexpected the way he acted.

Mmk, what does race have to do with anything? And how is that "unexpected"? He's just a guy, and I really don't see why you needed to add that to your original post.
« Last Edit: May 27, 2004, 01:25:46 am by Tigerlily » Report to moderator   Logged
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Re:I'm Scared That I Might Have A Stalker
« Reply #6 on: May 27, 2004, 03:37:59 am »

Hmm.  I just took that last line of her post to mean that she hasn't had much inter-racial experience.  I didn't see it as a negative thing, just that she wasn't used to that type of interaction.  Perhaps it is not as diverse an area where she is, or perhaps she has not been approached by many black people.  Perhaps not.  I don't know, that's just how I read it.
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Re:I'm Scared That I Might Have A Stalker
« Reply #7 on: May 27, 2004, 03:30:42 pm »

I say..trust your instincts

nothing like that has really happened to me..heh. Maybe he just really wants a girlfriend? Hm....or maybe he's just over- friendly.
Yeah I agree, if you decide to basketball, bring some of your friends, or something..never can be too careful in this day and age
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Re:I'm Scared That I Might Have A Stalker
« Reply #8 on: May 28, 2004, 01:25:14 am »


Quote from: c on May 27, 2004, 03:37:59 am   

Hmm.  I just took that last line of her post to mean that she hasn't had much inter-racial experience.  I didn't see it as a negative thing, just that she wasn't used to that type of interaction.  Perhaps it is not as diverse an area where she is, or perhaps she has not been approached by many black people.  Perhaps not.  I don't know, that's just how I read it.
I don't know, I just took it the other way, which I've stated in my last post. But why would she have talked to him and given out of her number if there's no inter-racial interaction? Don't take me wrong, Curio, I'm not trying to start anything, but just trying to find out what that last statement meant.
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Re:I'm Scared That I Might Have A Stalker
« Reply #9 on: May 28, 2004, 03:05:54 pm »

No, I understand what you mean, Sandy.  But she didn't give her phone number to him - he gave his to her.  She told him she didn't like giving out her number.  That's what made me think she wasn't used it, and that's why I read it the way I did.
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Re:I'm Scared That I Might Have A Stalker
« Reply #10 on: May 28, 2004, 06:57:02 pm »


Quote from: c on May 28, 2004, 03:05:54 pm   

No, I understand what you mean, Sandy.  But she didn't give her phone number to him - he gave his to her.  She told him she didn't like giving out her number.  That's what made me think she wasn't used it, and that's why I read it the way I did.
OOO Okay, I get it now. Hmm I don't know, but that last statement just stuck in my head for some reason as a "bad" comment.
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Re:I'm Scared That I Might Have A Stalker
« Reply #11 on: May 28, 2004, 07:05:19 pm »

Yeah, I totally see your point.  I just like to give people the benefit of the doubt, when I can.
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Re:I'm Scared That I Might Have A Stalker
« Reply #12 on: May 28, 2004, 07:18:45 pm »

Yeah, I get what you mean, I've just lately been really pessimistic and almost cynical about almost everything for obvious reasons. Well, I guess we'll just have to wait for her response.
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Re:I'm Scared That I Might Have A Stalker
« Reply #13 on: May 30, 2004, 04:20:13 pm »

Does it matter how he looks like? Or do you mean that black people shouldn't act or talk? Well my advice to you is that you should be careful with him and not give out any information about yourself to him!
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Re:I'm Scared That I Might Have A Stalker
« Reply #14 on: May 30, 2004, 05:45:29 pm »

Sorry guys. I didn't mean to sound racist. Because I definetly am not. It's just that I'm from a small Saskatchewan town and I'm not used to these sort of things happening to me. To be honest, there aren't alot of black people around here. There's lots of native people, and plenty of farmers and hicks . Then there's the small town folks like myself, that's about it. It's very very different from some of the larger cities some of you may live in. Even going to to a place like Edmonton or Winnipeg is like whoa, mind boggling for a Saskatchewan native like me. 

By the way, I went rollarblading today and I saw him walking with a friend. He was walking down the street before mine and he pointed at me from the end of the block. I rode past him and he just said hi.
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