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  Friend Problems--Advice Needed!
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   Author  Topic: Friend Problems--Advice Needed!  (Read 786 times)
Glinda
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the scenario is too cliche.
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Friend Problems--Advice Needed!
« on: April 04, 2004, 12:27:53 pm »

Well, right off the bat, thanks for at least looking at the thread lol.

Anywho, basically the whole point of this thread is to ask for advice on what to do about a friend of mine that just happens to be a guy-stealer. Whenever I say I like somebody, the next day or so she says I "drew attention to him" so now SHE has a crush on him. But it just so happens that the guy I like now I actually have a chance with. She told me that she's liked him since the beginning of the school year, but I could tell she was lying. (#1, she would have told me when she started to like him, #2, You know how you can tell people are lying? Yeah....)
Well, I'm kinda starting to get mad because...well, I don't really have a reason, but I just am....am I even making sense?

Should I say something to her about it or should I just let it go until she actually DOES something? I'm really confused and I didn't know what to do...so I came here! I hope you can help because I've been having like a nervous breakdown all weekend. AHHHH!!!!!!!!

PS-If you need more details or whatever then PM me or post it or whatever...I was trying to spare you the boredom! Hehe...
« Last Edit: April 04, 2004, 12:29:23 pm by .:.ChEeSe.FrY.:. » Report to moderator   Logged

*Faith*
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Re:Friend Problems--Advice Needed!
« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2004, 02:02:48 pm »

Oh girl....that's not right. 

I think you need to look at how good of a "friend" this girl really is. Because no true friend would do something to hurt you. She might just be jealous of you in some way.. remember imitation is the sincerist form of flattery. But still, I say you confront her about it. If she refuses to change her ways, then your friendship obviously isn't a priority for her, and it's time to move on.

Good luck!!!
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Re:Friend Problems--Advice Needed!
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2004, 02:30:25 pm »


Quote from: *Faith* on April 04, 2004, 02:02:48 pm   

Oh girl....that's not right. 

I think you need to look at how good of a "friend" this girl really is. Because no true friend would do something to hurt you. She might just be jealous of you in some way.. remember imitation is the sincerist form of flattery. But still, I say you confront her about it. If she refuses to change her ways, then your friendship obviously isn't a priority for her, and it's time to move on.

Good luck!!!
I agree with you! You should talk with your friend, and if she don't listen, you might should think about having other friends. She should respect that you have a crush on this guy, and not try to steal him from you!
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Re:Friend Problems--Advice Needed!
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2004, 05:01:17 pm »

Ironically, my problems right now are slightly similar. As everyone else said, confront her, if she doesn't care, then don't be friends with her again.

I'm here if you need to PM me anytime.
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Glinda
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the scenario is too cliche.
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Re:Friend Problems--Advice Needed!
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2004, 09:09:41 pm »

Thanks guys...I know I should confront her, but I'm scared to....she's in all of my classes and she's best friends with my other best friend....oh it's confusing! She acts like she's sincere, but she could at least....oh well....thanks again! I'll let you guys know if anything horrible/awesome happens with this stuff....ugh.
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*Faith*
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Re:Friend Problems--Advice Needed!
« Reply #5 on: April 04, 2004, 11:12:38 pm »

Yeah keep us updated! 
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Re:Friend Problems--Advice Needed!
« Reply #6 on: April 05, 2004, 12:44:33 am »


Quote from: *Faith* on April 04, 2004, 02:02:48 pm   

remember imitation is the sincerist form of flattery.

Everyone says that but that type of stuff pisses me off after a while.  Makes me feel like there are twelve of me - e.g. that I'm not original.  I know I'm not, but I'd at least like to pretend I am.

I had a friend like this...I dumped her.  She got annoyed with me, but by that time I didn't care.  I confronted her (shaking, even, cause she was my first best friend in high school) and she totally denied it and made me feel stupid.  She had invited this guy I liked out with us and two other friends - supposedly for my benefit - and she spent the entire night flirting!  One of my other friends was there and she completely agreed with me.

So...I say confront her.  You don't have to yell at her or anything, just voice your concerns.  A good trick is to use the "I feel" statement:  as in, not "you like every guy I like" but maybe "I feel that you only like guys after I I say that I like them."  This can make a huge difference sometimes.

Other than that, good luck.
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Glinda
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the scenario is too cliche.
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Re:Friend Problems--Advice Needed!
« Reply #7 on: April 06, 2004, 03:58:59 pm »

Thanks for the advice efans!

UPDATE: She said she doesn't like him anymore....my mom says she's full of sh!t....I agree. I'm gonna wait to say something until she does it again. Ugh.
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Re:Friend Problems--Advice Needed!
« Reply #8 on: April 07, 2004, 03:33:29 am »

Moms usually know best, isn't that the adage?

Well, I think that's good that you were able to confront her!  That's a tough job.  Really, you should be proud of yourself.

Go ahead - give yourself a pat on the back.  I'll give myself one too.

*pat*

*smack*

Ouch!

Well, let us know what she says in a few days. 
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Re:Friend Problems--Advice Needed!
« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2004, 07:28:06 am »

why dont you just tell her your over the guy and like some other guy  seems like the easiest solution to me!

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Glinda
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the scenario is too cliche.
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Re:Friend Problems--Advice Needed!
« Reply #10 on: April 07, 2004, 03:48:13 pm »

UPDATE: He "sort of" likes my friend. She doesn't know that yet. Ugh.
« Last Edit: April 07, 2004, 04:48:08 pm by .:.ChEeSe.FrY.:. » Report to moderator   Logged

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Re:Friend Problems--Advice Needed!
« Reply #11 on: April 07, 2004, 06:34:00 pm »

Damn, that sucks. I've never been in that situation, but i'll try.
You should talk to her, like everyone says. If she turns into a mean bitch, dump her right on the spot.

Does he like you, though?
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Glinda
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the scenario is too cliche.
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Re:Friend Problems--Advice Needed!
« Reply #12 on: April 07, 2004, 06:37:36 pm »


Quote from: Yoko Ono on April 07, 2004, 06:34:00 pm   

Does he like you, though?

Not a clue.
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Re:Friend Problems--Advice Needed!
« Reply #13 on: April 08, 2004, 09:14:18 am »

you should try to talk to her. i had a problem similar to this before. it was hard to confront my friend but once i did and i explained the situation to her, she kind of understood but then she started to get mean about it saying things like "i liked him first blah blah blah" (minus the blah blah parts, i just can't remember the rest lol). so then i decided to break off the friendship. like *Faith* said you should look at how good of a friend she is, because she wouldn't try to hurt you.

good luck with it! i hope this problem clears up for you soon!
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Re:Friend Problems--Advice Needed!
« Reply #14 on: April 08, 2004, 09:37:11 am »

how old are you? (that is just a general question not a "o my god how old are you get over it" comment )
anywho! i've never really had this problem... if one of my friends likes a guy no one else really admits to likeing them too... like you will say 'yeh his hot' but you dont cut their lunch!

i think your always going to have this problem while she is around unless you let her know... it could be that she just doesnt realise that she is doing anything "wrong" and so you have to give her the opportunity to redeem herself. when i have people like that i confron them and move on and if the confrontation aint sucessful i move on and just distance myself from them, that way i can still enjoy the good aspects of them. just try not to let things get nasty! he he he!
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