The Big Schmooze on the Comedy Channel

[LOTR clip from Prancing Pony with Frodo & Strider]
[Matthew Hardy sitting opposite Elijah Wood, Dominic Monaghan & Billy Boyd.]

Matthew: Your character {points at Elijah and Elijah straightens up suddenly in shock} Frodo -

Elijah: What have I done?

Matthew: - caused a bit of a ruckus in the first pub that you three went drinking at

Elijah: {snort/laugh}

Matthew: {speaking to Dominic & Billy} - and you were very tolerant, your two characters, so I wondered if you had a real mate who was causing so much trouble on a regular basis wouldn't you, like, grab a hold of him and tell him to put his head in?

Billy: No, because that's like Dom in real life

Elijah: {leaning across Dominic to wiggle finger at Billy} I think he wasn't, he causing the trouble though, 'cause he mentioned my name: Baggins.

Dominic: {coughs and starts laughing at the same time}

Matthew: He did, yeah!

Elijah: 'Cause he... He caused the trouble. Don't blame it on Frodo.

Dominic: {with a strangely hoarse/sexy voice (he might be recovering from the cough } We had we had a couple of, we had a couple of ...err, you know hardcore nights in New Zealand. The kinda group of us all went out. Ye know, 'cause if you work hard and then you have one day off a week every so often, everyone would just be like {puts on even more hoarse voice} 'C'mon we're gonna go to the pub!'

Billy: Especially the stuntmen!

Dominic: Yeah!

Billy: Never drink with a stuntman...

Dominic: So you're out with the stuntment, so you're out with 25 of the hardest guys in the world and they're buying you drinks and you just feel invincible. And Elijah and I climbed the Bucket fountain thing in Marlington(?) and we were right at the top and, umm, being all nasty and silly. And then we told Pete the next day and he wasn't happy, was he?

Elijah: {muffling his laughter} No I think he shed a tear.

Dominic: He was like 'That's part of my childhood!'...

Matthew: Are we going to see this in 'The Making of Lord of the Rings'?

Dominic: {still going with his Peter Jackson impersonation} shouldn't be climbing that!

Elijah: We conquered it.

Dominic: No, it wasn't filmed.

Elijah: {laughing} We should do it on the DVD!

Billy: Or maybe it was filmed... {raises eyebrows knowingly}

- - - >Back to the interviewer's with Elijah Wood only now. < - - -

Elijah: So is this for the Comedy Channel?!

Matthew: {confirming} For the Comedy Channel.

Elijah: Wicked! Are you supposed to be funny?

Matthew: Uhh No.

Elijah: Oh okay.

Matthew: Yeah. But if I am it's a bonus. Now, do you fear being followed by nerds at sci-fi conventions for the rest of your life?

Elijah: Well, that is if I go to them – if I go to the sci-fi conventions. But I actually went to a comic convention earlier this year, and I thought I could just go. Naively, I thought, I'll just go and see some friends, some people from WETA digital, uhh... WETA effects were there. So I went andvisited them and you know, it wasn't easy. In fact every time I stopped I got surrounded by a group of 'Lord of the Rings' fans. Which was quite cool.

Matthew: Where was William Shatner?

Elijah: He wasn't there actually. {pauses} I would never set foot in a Star Trek convention, now that scares me to no end.

Matthew: Can we expect Elijah Wood, now that he's a major movie star, to...

Elijah: {half laughing, half pained} I'm not - I'm not a massive movie star don't say that, please!

Matthew: You may be a massive movie star. If that happens, will you slip into drink, drugs and debauchery?

Elijah: {smiles and shakes head} No. {laughs}

Matthew: Why not, man?!

Elijah: Oh, cause it's terribly boring!

Matthew: Is it?

Elijah: Yeah.

Matthew: What about all the chicks?

Elijah: Uhh If that's how you get chicks then I'm going to be useless.

Matthew: Please, pass some of that stardom on to me. I'll use it on your behalf. {leans over and shakes hands}

Elijah: All right mate.

Matthew: Thank you very much!

Elijah: You're welcome.

Matthew: Elijah Wood. Comedy Channel.

Elijah: {to camera} Keep laughing Comedy Channel.

Matthew: Any chance of you saying "Matthew Hardy Rocks! I know because he said so."?

Elijah: Matthew Hardy Rocks! I know because he frickin said so!

End.

Thanks HobbitAngel!!!