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  The A+F agony aunts.
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   Author  Topic: The A+F agony aunts.  (Read 33644 times)
Young&Desperate 4Attention{DA}
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1140 on: February 28, 2009, 12:16:44 pm »
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Quote from: Damita Jackson on February 27, 2009, 05:34:48 pm   

Ladies and King Dapper-Dan, I have a question for y'all.

It has become apparent that I am being sexually harrassed by another student at my college (whether he intends this or not is unclear) but the stuff he's doing is making me uncomfortable.  E.g. keeps telling me and the rest of the class (not the teacher, John, Clare, and Alan wouldn' have allowed it) that I masterbate, he keeps jumping on me, and if he says once more that if he were single he would date me one more damn time!  Oh, and he decided he had the right to ask whether I was a virgin or not.  That is just some of the stuff going on.  Now, people keep telling me to report him but I know believe that if I do report him then I'll be advised to try and sort it out myself first.  So I've decided to go there first   What i want to know is, how can I word my request?

OMG how immature, telling people you masturbate... And even if you do: you're a healthy young woman. Newsflash: IT'S NORMAL!!! PEOPLE DO THAT!! gosh!

Anyways... Did he really touch you and do things to you or is it just that he's saying these things? And what exactly do you feel offending if he asks about your virginity? Because I don't really see the problem  *no offence meant!*

I would just tell him to quit whatever he's doing and that I feel uncomfortable. And when he continues, I'd say it a little more harsh like:  Stop, you idiot! I told you I don't want any of this shit, so stop it! *OMG, I'm so good minding my words today, haha*

You need to make clear you don't want him to do any of this.
« Last Edit: February 28, 2009, 12:17:45 pm by Young&Desperate 4Attention{DA} » Report to moderator   Logged




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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1141 on: February 28, 2009, 01:39:25 pm »
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Quote from: Young&Desperate 4Attention{DA} on February 28, 2009, 12:16:44 pm   
Anyways... Did he really touch you and do things to you or is it just that he's saying these things?
I wouldn't have said he did those things if he didn't.  They don't bother me as much but sometimes it gets on my nerves.


Quote from: Young&Desperate 4Attention{DA} on February 28, 2009, 12:16:44 pm   
And what exactly do you feel offending if he asks about your virginity? Because I don't really see the problem  *no offence meant!*
I didn't say I was offended by him asking but if you've only known someone a week you don't usually just ask them about it for the sheer hell of it.  It's impolite to ask someone that, it's like saying "How much do you earn?" the minute you meet someone.  It's just rude.
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1142 on: February 28, 2009, 02:08:47 pm »
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I am sorry Vick, I didnt't mean to upset you.

But I don't know... I'd prolly just tell him to get the f*ck away from me.
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1143 on: February 28, 2009, 02:15:42 pm »
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Quote from: Young&Desperate 4Attention{DA} on February 28, 2009, 02:08:47 pm   

I am sorry Vick, I didnt't mean to upset you.
You didn't upset me Pam
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1144 on: February 28, 2009, 03:20:13 pm »
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pull him off to the side and tell him to STFU and GTFA, and that if he doesn't you'll report him to the authorities on the charges of sexual harassment. More than likely, he likes you and he's just really stupid and immature and not good with attracting women... so he's defaulting to this horrendous display. I figure if you tell him ^^ he'll back off/appologize/ask you out in a normal manner. and if he doesn't... tell someone. Most people take sexual harassment seriously. You'll get to go to court and everything.
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Stop reading my signature. Don't deny it. You're reading it. I can see you. You're giving it the casual little once-over. How rude. Didn't your mother teach you better?
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1145 on: February 28, 2009, 03:25:55 pm »
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Quote from: Jess_B on February 28, 2009, 03:20:13 pm   

pull him off to the side and tell him to STFU and GTFA, and that if he doesn't you'll report him to the authorities on the charges of sexual harassment. More than likely, he likes you and he's just really stupid and immature and not good with attracting women... so he's defaulting to this horrendous display. I figure if you tell him ^^ he'll back off/appologize/ask you out in a normal manner. and if he doesn't... tell someone. Most people take sexual harassment seriously. You'll get to go to court and everything.

yeah, i agree! seriously, this guy sounds...er...scary. tell someone. get help with this situation. i hope all goes well.
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miss sixty
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1146 on: February 28, 2009, 10:28:11 pm »
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This is for everyone whowas concerned for me Had a great day today I got on extremely well with AJ and Kev
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1147 on: February 28, 2009, 10:44:36 pm »
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Quote from: miss sixty on February 28, 2009, 10:28:11 pm   

This is for everyone whowas concerned for me Had a great day today I got on extremely well with AJ and Kev

good! i'm glad.
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1148 on: March 01, 2009, 03:09:12 am »
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Liz - That's good darls


Vix - Think you asked me about this a couple of weeks ago, which means the situation hasn't resolved itself naturally, so...I'd probably do it something like this:

a)  Go up to this jerk-wad and say calmly: "Can you please cut out all the personal comments.  You mightn't realise this, but it's making my time at college really uncomfortable."  (Diarise your request, and try to have at least one witness present.)

b)  If he doesn't stop immediately, it is obviously his intention to make you feel uncomfortable... therefore you could say something like the following (very loudly, and preferably where MANY other students can hear you):

"You must be REALLY insecure about your own manhood if you think it makes you look any cooler (smarter, funnier) to insult and degrade a female student in public.  Lay off NOW, or I'm reporting you to ----- !"

c)  If he STILL persists, definitely report him, because  noone should have to put up with this sort of humiliation just to attend college.

Hope it works out.
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miss sixty
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1149 on: March 01, 2009, 03:11:26 am »
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I'm with Gemon this Vicky
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1150 on: March 07, 2009, 04:22:51 pm »
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Quote from: The Gemstar on March 01, 2009, 03:09:12 am   

Liz - That's good darls


Vix - Think you asked me about this a couple of weeks ago, which means the situation hasn't resolved itself naturally, so...I'd probably do it something like this:

a)  Go up to this jerk-wad and say calmly: "Can you please cut out all the personal comments.  You mightn't realise this, but it's making my time at college really uncomfortable."  (Diarise your request, and try to have at least one witness present.)

b)  If he doesn't stop immediately, it is obviously his intention to make you feel uncomfortable... therefore you could say something like the following (very loudly, and preferably where MANY other students can hear you):

"You must be REALLY insecure about your own manhood if you think it makes you look any cooler (smarter, funnier) to insult and degrade a female student in public.  Lay off NOW, or I'm reporting you to ----- !"

c)  If he STILL persists, definitely report him, because  noone should have to put up with this sort of humiliation just to attend college.

Hope it works out.

gem, you are super smart! totally agree.
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miss sixty
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1151 on: June 05, 2009, 09:52:42 am »
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I am suddenly feeling very sad. Mark is in bed asleep with a cold. I think I am sad as we are not in NZ. I have considered counselling, found a lady just down the road. But is too expensive at the moment as we are not working.

I am sure it is just a passing sadness. I should be happy again before too long. Looking forward to Tenerife and another working holiday in NZ next year.

Just felt like writing this..
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1152 on: June 05, 2009, 03:05:25 pm »
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^ I hope it is a passing sadness.  This is just from my perspective - but you seem happier now than you did when I first met you on A+F, so NZ has been a good influence! I know it's depressing to be home, but you can stay strong and get through it - after all, you said you'll be going back.

Hope Mark gets well soon too.
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1153 on: June 05, 2009, 04:34:20 pm »
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Quote from: maryd on June 05, 2009, 03:05:25 pm   

^ I hope it is a passing sadness.  This is just from my perspective - but you seem happier now than you did when I first met you on A+F, so NZ has been a good influence! I know it's depressing to be home, but you can stay strong and get through it - after all, you said you'll be going back.

Hope Mark gets well soon too.

I think it definitly is a passing sadness mary. Feelng happy now! NZ did very well in making me happier and was a good influence on me!

I told him
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Re:The A+F agony aunts.
« Reply #1154 on: June 06, 2009, 11:24:32 am »
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I'm glad you are feeling a bit better now.  If ever you do need to talk, just send a PM my way.
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