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				« Other » => Fun Stuff & Clubs => Message started by: Desert Rose on April 19, 2008, 11:53:06 pm
			

Title: Our dear Diary!
Post by: Mai_o_ya on April 19, 2008, 11:53:06 pm

That thread is our diary book from now on!
Write here whatever happens to you if you would like to :D

P.S Elizabeth and Vic,i didn't forget my promise!(remember?)

I would like to write on now,but i gotta go to work immediatly..
So i'll write later...

Title: Re:Our Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on April 20, 2008, 04:29:17 am

This is a interesting choice for a thread mai.

I will use this to put my feelings in only.

Yellow

As that is my happy colour. Hope this helps, I can see them now but are not botherng me like yesterday..though sometimes I wish they would just leave me alone.

Hopefully when I watch FOTR later it will distract me and I won't see them anymore.

Title: Re:Our Diary!
Post by: Mai_o_ya on April 20, 2008, 01:32:19 pm

DEAR DIARY

Today i wake upvery Early :),i wake up at 5:30 am :o

full of energy and enthusiasm to begin the day!


I saw the sun rise,ate my breakfast...prapared to go to work!


today at work nothing important happend as usual :(


I came back home at 4 pm....

but every body home is really busy with the preparation of my sis weddding PARTY!

...................to be continued :-*

Title: Re:Our Diary!
Post by: Misz_Mii on April 20, 2008, 02:31:45 pm

Dear Diary,

Wow, a couple of months ago I would have never ever thought that it would be THIS nice!! I went out with Shirley, my cousin, last night and we had such a lovely time! We headed to the club like 11.30 and we left there at 4.15 I guess... and than we just sat and had fun till like 5.00-ish.... Wow, never thought I'd just had fun with random strangers... especially not when they're hitting on you haha it was so nice!

And then we brought this boy home, and we were at his place like 5.15 and we left like 7.00... We had such a nice talk haha, he's totally crazy and I loved it! Wow, I really wanna do this more often, because it really does me good! I finally have fun with my cousin again and I meet nice people! What more does a girl like me want? Yes, boys boys boys, but guess what: There were tons of hot guys, I just need to integrate more into their "culture" (yeah, it's a club in a little village and I live in a big city so yeah, it's kinda a different culture) and before you know it, I've got a nice guy! Oh well, it prolly won't be that easy, but who cares?! I have fun with all the guys and also with girls and I don't need a boyfriend, because when I get a lot of new friends, I get enought attention haha oh my, Diary, I'm such an attention-wh*re... no not wh*re!! I'd never call myself a wh*re... I just neeeeed attention haha :P Not need but want... oh what, you know me... :P

Love,
Pamela.

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: tafika on April 20, 2008, 08:56:03 pm

Dear diary (lol, how cute),

I have deadlines coming out of my ears. And I love it. Weird, eh? This time last year was horrible, but when I'm actually up to date with work and producing some good stuff I can't think of anything I'd rather do.
OK, that's a lie, I'd chose socialising over work any day, who wouldn't. But you can't beat enjoying what you do, hopefully I'm going to have the most enjoyable career when I graduate. I hope I'm the first person in my family who isn't going to spend their entire working life counting down to retirement.

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Mai_o_ya on April 20, 2008, 11:31:15 pm

Dear Diary!
My sister's wedding is the next friday...
I have 2 different feelings!
I'm happy 4 her,she is gonna marry to the guy she loves,and i think he is a cool guy.And i like him,and happy he will be my brother in law!
But i'm also sad cuz she gonna move to a new home,city.
Though we arn't the perfect sisters to eachothers,I'm gonna miss her so much. :-\ :(

I hope her happy life,and permenant love with her future hubby! :-*

Mai!

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Lanta the Gemstar on April 21, 2008, 09:33:37 am

Dear Diary,

Today was a busy day for the Gemstar!!

Had to work in the morning, came home about 1pm and rushed around doing chores until I picked the kids up then had to go pay about $1000 worth of bills (oh, JOY!! Not. ::))

Bought some groceries, rushed home again by 4:30 pm to prepare meal because my friend and her kids were coming over to have dinner with us. They left at about 9:30 and then I swapped funny and rude stories with a net-pal until now - 11:30pm. ;D

A wee bit tired now hehe...

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Elijahs Impact on April 21, 2008, 11:07:22 am

Dear diary,

I didn't think I let people annoy me this much anymore, I haven't spoken to her in days and she's still in the back of my mind! I just want to tell her to grow up.

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on April 21, 2008, 03:00:25 pm

Feeling happy today, but no one is on the forum to chat too, hope someone come on soon ::) :)

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Misz_Mii on April 22, 2008, 02:24:57 pm

Dear Dairy,

I can't believe this... One day he tells me he loves me and the other day he tells me he doesn't want a girlfriend because of the summerholidays that are coming up in about 3 months (God, was a lousy excuse...) and then he tells me we'll be friends, he talks to me when I met him last Saturday and then I hear from people that he's been seen with another girl and that they had a good time and then I read him telling that girl that "THEIR WEEKEND" was great and now he doesn't even seem to be wanting me as a friend anymore...

I dunno, I don't need him, certainly not, we just didn't work together... at least... now that I look back at it we don't... Oh Gosh, I thought I was over him but apparently I'm not yet... It's so weird, cause I'm ready to move on, but now I know all this, I just can't stop feeling awkward... I shouldn't, but Diary, you know that it's kinda hard when you like someone as much as i liked him, I really thought we'd spend forever together and then he comes up with such a lousy excuse, which turns out to be a LIE!! If only he had told me that he liked another girl better, it would've been easier... right? Oh well, What do I know...

Wow, it seems like I've got my heart broken, but it's not... it's just got little cracks in it... They'll heal, soon my heart will be smooth again, but I miss him a little when I think of him and talk about him... I just won't do that anymore... I'll be fine... I promise

Love,
Pamela

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on April 22, 2008, 03:19:56 pm

Pissed off and upset dont wanna be stuck in here while mark is in there
but dont want to watch football :(

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Mai_o_ya on April 24, 2008, 07:32:17 pm

Dear Diary!
Im angry,many bad things happend to me recentely,and i don't know what to do?
My work is becoming worth day by day!i was in love with it,i am working what i thought i like!
Maybe it all because of my over sinsebility..

And here is mum come to complete my aweful state!why don't you mum understand you have 3 daughters not only one!

Daddy as your habbit you always drive me mad...

But after all Diary....they are the only ones who really really love me!and i do as well..

Mai!

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Lanta the Gemstar on April 25, 2008, 01:22:53 am

Dear Diary -

Well the Gemstar had a huge scare today when I thought I'd lost my 12 year old in the city!!! :o :'(

I waited an hour and no sign of him, the city centre was crowded with Anzac Day (Military March) marchers and he didn't have a phone with him!

I'm such a baaad mother! :P >:( ::) :'(

Rory's away until Sunday evening, my daughter's sick, and none of my usual friends have been on A&F to chat with...

For the first time in a long time, I think I'm depressed... :'(

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on April 25, 2008, 01:47:28 am

cant chat to gem today cos going out in 15mins then babysitting later, pissed off cos she needs someone to chat to right now :(

Hope she ok and will make sure to chat to her soon.

Never get much time ont he forum in the morning!

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Elijahs Impact on April 25, 2008, 06:19:52 pm

Dear Diary (and the rest of the world),

I am so tired right now, my body iron is low and so I feel exhausted! Mom and dad bought me some lovely trousers for those times. I feel like such an idiot becuase I was in Asda and noticed I'd lost one of the rubber hingies from my ear phones and dad went looking round the store floor for it and couldn't find it, I went into the bathroom so i could lift up my top so i could check my bra, that's usually where it ends up. I ouldn't find it so I went and bought a little 98p set, after mom told me not to, and then just as I reach where they were in the store I put my hand in my pocket and find the rubber thing! I shelled 98p out for nothing! Mom still doesn't know ::)

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on April 26, 2008, 03:17:21 am

My mind is filled with suicidal images, wont say what :-X It wants me to go onto the forum, but I am succesfully resisting..but for how long, I need a friend to talk to, but I am all alone right now.

Mark is up in half hour then we go out should be ok then.

:-\

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Lyla on April 26, 2008, 09:32:34 am

I went swimming this morning, had lunch and in a few minutes Ill start with my homework for Monday.
In the evening we go to the club (dancing) ;D

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Elijahs Impact on April 27, 2008, 02:11:11 pm

Dear Diary,

I know that are there are many people reading this and so I won't name names. I think I am devolping a little bit of a crush on this guy. I really don't want to fancy him but there is something about him that draws you to him.

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Mai_o_ya on April 27, 2008, 06:31:23 pm

Dear Diary
You can say i got over the whole crappy issues i was passing through!
I left my job...not sad as much as feeling better,the stress is gone now!
My dear sissy in her way now to spend her honeymoon in our mum home country La bella Italia!...awesome i know..wish to go there as soon as my mum gets ready
:D

Now Diary i am feeling that a new day will come so near![my day...wooo]

Love
Mai!

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Billswife on April 29, 2008, 04:48:47 pm

Dear Diary,

Sick as a dog and still smoking. Got a fever. Ate berries. Played hookey from work again. Hope I finish my project. Too sick to care


Ahem...Lets try this again.

Dear Diary,

Life in the Shire is better than I expected. They have cable. Who knew. Just had a pool put it in with a diving board, it runs into the back river and it catches the light in rainbows on clear day.

It's in all the same colors as the never ending Stolies Vodka fountain. Also discovered a new diet food, banana whipped cream cake with chocolate walnut topping. Fat free, actually an antioxidant. Who knew.

David Bowie won't stop buying me roses. What's wrong with that guy.
;D

Much better. Fond preference for fiction.

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Mai_o_ya on April 29, 2008, 06:43:50 pm

Dear Diary
Now i accept the reality that she is not living here with us no more!

I am dealing with it,me think

Dad is being so sweet lately and that is realy seems odd to me!
:o
i'm being so lazy lately which is awesome to me..haha

Oh everything seems so quiet over here and i reall need that at that time at least!

Mai!



Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Lanta the Gemstar on April 30, 2008, 01:45:36 am

Still sinning and grinning!!! ;) ::) ;D

BTW Billswife, you, like, TOTALLY crack me up! HAHA!

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Mai_o_ya on May 01, 2008, 10:39:55 am

Dear Diary,

Still without job,but i keep writing...

Sent some of my articls to my Dream newspaper!wait thier reply...

My sis called us from Italy yesterday,she's happy and enjoy her trip..i didnt know marriage makes such happiness!
;)
miss her...
Things dont seem perfect between me and mum lately!
:(

Mai!

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Elijahs Impact on May 02, 2008, 09:56:26 am

Dear Diary,

I'm still being teased for liking Michael but I don't care ::) It's all light-hearted. I really have my poster in town today, oh and I can afford it :P

Stewie's home after his surgery, and I really missed him

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on May 03, 2008, 03:09:21 am

I hate this crappy cold wish it would go away, well only working till friday then last minute packing to be ready to move on 16th :)

Feeling excited as soon we will be jetting off to Singapore, but not before visiting Marks mum in Tenerife on the 17th - 24th.

Life is so cool this year for me :D

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: maryd on May 03, 2008, 04:55:20 am

Dear Diary...

This is my first time writing here, I know - but I just feel really panicky and nervous. My first exam is in just over a week's time and then they don't finish until the end of June! I'm wasting my life! Can't wait til the summer, just to be free.

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Mai_o_ya on May 03, 2008, 07:51:20 pm

Dear Diary,

I feel just fine at the time,but mum is really annoying me by talking over n over about that silly irresistable guy!

I don't have any idea why does she think he is so funny and cool guy!!!

I tend to leave home 4 awhile,maybe i should go back to the Capital...but i dnt wanna leave mum in this conditions at least now!

Gotta stand that then!


Mai!

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Lanta the Gemstar on May 04, 2008, 12:09:24 am

Dear Diary,

I have rather conflicted feelings at the moment. Is it just me, or are various people sadly lacking in a sense of humour around here?

The levels of self-pity and self-absorbtion seem to be rising at an alarming rate, and maybe I am a total hypocrite, because I AM in here, writing these feelings down, so maybe I am equally as self-pitying.(?)

*shrugs* I dunno.... If anyone reads this, try to ignore my incoherent ramblings and don't take it personally.

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: tafika on May 04, 2008, 04:06:29 pm

Finished uni for the year and I don't know what to do with myself. I've not had so much free time in so long! What do I do with it? lol ::)

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on May 05, 2008, 04:10:32 pm

Just found out today that my youngest brother Nick has split from his girldriend of 7 years, a shame but hope he finds a new girlfriend soon or whatever makes him happy, he is staying with her cpl more months till lease runs out on flat..weird :P

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Elijahs Impact on May 05, 2008, 04:33:44 pm

Dear Diary,

It's been so hot here today! I literally feel like I'm melting. I still feel sad but I gotta soldier through, I don't want to hassle people on here any more. I got an e-mail from Becky today, we both think all three of us should meet up. She's going to talk to Jodie see what she thinks, I wonder if she'll go for it. I hope she does, it would be great to see her again. No doubt I'll be teased about Michael but I'm used to that from them ;)

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Lanta the Gemstar on May 05, 2008, 07:24:33 pm

Dear Diary -

Had a bit of a hissy-fit on here last night and revealed my true self - paranoia, lack of self-esteem and all! The sad thing is ... I wasn't even FUNNY! ::) :P :-X

Well... I refuse to wallow in guilt or embarrassment. These dudes (they know who they are) will hopefully find it in their hearts to forgive me. *smiles winningly* :D ;)

Hope Dan doesn't divorce me, or WORSE, have me be-headed and take a new Queen!!! :o :(

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on May 06, 2008, 04:27:30 pm

my mind is so dirty today, but its great!

plus in funny mood ;D

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: tafika on May 06, 2008, 04:38:00 pm

Cubes tonight, sunbathing on the common tomorrow, BBQ on Thursday, who knows what on Friday. Skegness next week! 8)
I love summer ;D

Had an awesome day with Adam even though I wasn't actually with him. Kathryn loves picture messages! ::)

Dancing the night away tonight with my old friends vodka and coke ;)

I love my life. If I was happier than I am right now I think I would burst! ;D

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Billswife on May 06, 2008, 11:55:10 pm

Drinkin vodka waiting on the biggest career news of my whole life..hopefully good news. No idea why I feel like making a public display of my vodka on line.

Yes folks plenty old enough <cries ;)> And not driving anywhere tonight.

I wonder if anyone else has ever drank on A and F before ;D ;D ;D

I can always delete this tomorrow :-[ After the hangover

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: tafika on May 07, 2008, 06:26:18 pm

[quote author=Valkyrie link=board=7;threadid=33249;start=30#msg1149057 date=1210132510]
I wonder if anyone else has ever drank on A and F before ;D ;D ;D
[/quote]

Don't worry you're not the only one ;)
Drunk posts can be entertaining the next day!

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Lanta the Gemstar on May 08, 2008, 09:26:09 am

Dear Diary,

Relaxing day today. Spent the majority of it writing ridiculous fanfiction ( :o ;D!!!) and talking crap with peeps on net.

Had a couple of vino's, a Kit Kat bar and chips, so the diet is shot.

Now, if only I didn't have to pay the enormous tax bill everything would be sweet! ::) :P

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Mai_o_ya on May 08, 2008, 10:16:31 pm

My Dear Diary,

I'm Sooooo much happy,and guess what?!



I won't tell you why?! ;) :D ;D :P

Happily,

Mai!

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Billswife on May 08, 2008, 10:25:51 pm

[quote author=tafika

Quote:


Don't worry you're not the only one ;)
Drunk posts can be entertaining the next day!

Quote:


;D

Dear Diary,

Giggling at Tafika's post. ;D

Wandering around here again as if I am expecting to find the meaning of life. I think sitting infront of the computer powering down cigarettes is probably a nice way to curl up and feel "safe". ::)

Wierd.

Got good news and it doesn't seem real yet.

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on May 09, 2008, 01:40:53 am

last day of work..yes, soon will be in tenerife, then off to singapore, nz 30th..so excited, what does my future hold for me now ::)

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: tafika on May 09, 2008, 07:36:18 am

Dear diary,

I have the most awesome boyfriend in the world ever. He makes me laugh. He seems to love my oddness. He's sexy. He's interesting. He cares for and is very protective of the people he loves. He's sensitive. He's strong. He's coming to visit me on Sunday at midnight! ;D
I love him more than anything, and these next 4 months are going to be really hard without him.

Taf.

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: maryd on May 09, 2008, 12:36:43 pm

Dear Diary,

The weather has changed. It tipped it down today, had 5 of us under my umbrella walking to the bus depot after school. Feeling a bit nostalgic and I don't know why.

I get off on study leave next Tuesday. After that, only one more year left at my school, then it's out into the big bad world. Not looking forward to it.

Mary

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on May 09, 2008, 02:05:23 pm

Was my last day at work today..feels surreal all this am I actually going to New Zealand or is it all a dream..I know it is real, but all seems like a dream..

Wish my headache would go away.. :P

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Lanta the Gemstar on May 10, 2008, 08:17:59 am

Dear Diary,

Well Rory is off to Canberra for a week to meet with the Prime Minister among other things! Lucky him - I think :P ::)

But I'll be a single mother again, which is par for the course these days. My first-born is completely stressing me out at the moment. >:( :-\ I need adult company, so expect me in here heaps!!!

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on May 10, 2008, 02:51:49 pm

had the best day in Chester meeting Dawn, but sad we will miss her for a whole year..but cant wait to go still will keep in touch via email ::)

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Mai_o_ya on May 13, 2008, 09:19:25 pm

Dear Diary,

Sorry for not writing here for a while,

But things getting worse with me lately, my connection is going down,and the network is just bad!

Mum,and Dad are Okai,they show me thier best nowadays! Thats cool thing at least!

Younger Sis is having exams after 3 days, wish her good luck! I'm also helping her in her studying,which is keeping me busy...


Mai!

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on May 14, 2008, 04:20:57 am

Hi me ole diary ;D

Well all we seem to be doing now is packing, take a break, packing... ::)

Luckily the weather is still nice today must go the park later and sun it a bit ;D

We move out in 2 days :D

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Billswife on May 15, 2008, 09:16:59 pm

Dear Diary,

I hope Miss Sixty has a fun vacation. I realized today I have officially lost my mind having spent $110 in one week on beads. Something is very very wrong with that. You'd think it would be alot of beads too but it's just one braclette/neclace set and a small bag of Cabachons.

I've got coral, pearls, Jade, you name it sitting in a bag I'm never going to use.

Jewlers are stalking me now, they know where I work, they come by and show me the "new stuff" and say "Hey look what I got for ya'". "Wink Wink"

OH man.

It's official. I have a "bead" problem. :P

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Lanta the Gemstar on May 16, 2008, 06:12:38 am

Dear Diary,

I am worried about Emily ^^^ as I believe she has a bead problem and that her addiction my conceivably bankrupt her family.

I may recommend a twelve-step programme so that she can address her 'issues' ;) 8) Perhaps 'shopaholics anonymous' or 'beat-the-beads'.

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Elijahs Impact on May 16, 2008, 11:35:05 am

Dear Online Diary,

I can't believe it's already been a year since Grandpa died, I remember that day so clearly. I felt a bit upset earlier whilst talking to Gem but I don't now because I know he's not gone, he's still with me. I Love You Grandpa! :-* :-*

On a slightly lighter note; I'm really wanting to get this tattoo done on my wrist, when I told my brother about it he said 'that's gonna hurt' I'm sure it will :P If I do have it done, mom and dad are going to be pissed! Of course, it is my body. nd it's not even as if it's some really unnattractive tattoo, I'm not going to have naked women all over my body :P

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on May 16, 2008, 02:03:45 pm

We have successfully moved out, was a stressful upsetting day in all well for me, now at my mum and dads again after 6 years, off to Tenerife tomorrow!!

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Lyla on May 16, 2008, 02:46:26 pm

Dear Diary,

this weekend is sooo boring...
And he didnt call me! Anyway...I knew it and Im ok.
But why is it ALWAYS me???
Why do all the other girls are so lucky with the boys???

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Billswife on May 17, 2008, 12:26:10 am

Dear Diary,

I am spending the entire weekend at my friends house. And yet oddly by myself. I have already rooted through both of her refrigerators, opened up some of her make up, flipped through her magazines and I'm running out of things to do.

I wonder where she keeps her diary.

;D

Just kidding, but seriously her computer is alot better than mine.

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Elijahs Impact on May 21, 2008, 04:23:01 pm

Dear Diary,

I have been working so hard today doing the housework and the packing up my crap I my bedroom, I'm exhausted and yet instead of thank you I get moaned at for the things I didn't do. I got told to turn the light on in case I trip and fall (down the stairs) and God help me I wouldn't care if I did. I know I'm a failure, and not what any-one wanted me to be. I'm a self-fish, stupid bitch but I try to be a better person I really do. It just never works. I end up pushing everyone away from me, and I can't blame them.

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Mai_o_ya on June 12, 2008, 02:48:59 am

Dear Diary


so sorry for not typing here for long long time!


yesterday i was having one of my cruelest days of my life,,

i sat in the dark of my bedroom listening to the music , and trying to find one meaning to my stupid life..

and that came after the explosion that happened between me and my Dad ...well if he think he has the right to control my life,,,me too has the right to take rest from all that shit


Mai

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Lanta the Gemstar on June 12, 2008, 03:39:08 am

Dear Diary -

Welcome to my hormones
They've got fun'n'games


Sorry Axl Rose, but your song 'Welcome to the Jungle" just came on and the lyrics simply distorted all by themselves inside my head. ;) :o :P Illustrates my week quite accurately though! ::)

I've been quite an EMO-tional wreck: First confused, angry, upset - then dancing, singing and having the time of my life - then BACK to crying, arguing with others and now finally, calm... :) *takes a deep breath* Aaahhh! ...

I know the above ^^^ probably made very little sense to anyone fool enough to read someone else's diary! ;) ::), but can't a girl take advantage of a free 'therapy' session in peace. Read between the lines amateurs!!

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Billswife on June 12, 2008, 12:33:04 pm

Dear Diary,


I can relate to Gems post because I have been a little snippish and offkilter due to personal mind set. I have always been the sort to worry needlessly or make a mountain out of a molehill and I definately will not do that from here forward coz most stuff is not a big deal I've realized. For moods and the like I think the Eagles Song lyrics "Take it Easy" are some of THE best on the planet.


:)

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Lanta the Gemstar on June 14, 2008, 07:39:04 am

Dear Diary,

Well today has been pleasantly busy, so I haven't had the time to dwell on the things that have been bothering me lately.

However, last night I scared myself when my heart started palpitating weirdly... but it must've just been an anxiety attack. If I was having an actual heart attack I don't think I'd be able to fall asleep in the middle of it!(?) :-\ :P :-X

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Elijahs Impact on June 19, 2008, 12:28:18 pm

Dear Diary,

Am I sending Mixed Signals? ;) Hehe, sorry I couldn't resist putting a Sistaz Stand Strong! reference in there! ::)

Well, I hope I have made a new friend in Sarah. I try to act cool, calm and collected around everyone else but I really like her. Of course she did ever slightly diss my man, Michael...but then of course I explained that I find him as sexy as Hell and she left it ;D

I spent yesterday in bed, crying and feeling so sick. :P

I'm trying to think of how I can broach the subject of tattoos with mom and dad, I really want this tattoo but I don't think that will be enough to get stop the >:( looks and the 'I'm so disappointed'. I considered screaming and dropping to the floor kicking and punching the floor but decided against it as this is probably not the best way to show my parents I'm adult enough to get a tattoo. ::)

I've decided to write an update for Leoni if people still read it that it. I thought of a great...tweak for Leonie's appearance ::) ;D

I was watching The Wiz earlier and it is such a fabulous film, whenever I watch a film from the '60's, '70's, '80's I always wonder how they did the special effects. They didn't have half the technology we have today (lucky for them) and yet they make these fabulous films. Some of the best films ever. I started a topic about the film on here earlier but I'm doubtful I'll receive any replies, I doubt many people will have seen it. Which is a shame.

I'm getting a new Michael Jackson CD tomorrow and I'm so excited! It's more than I would usually pay for a CD (18.00) but I think Michael is worth it.

Luvs
Damita
xx

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Elijahs Impact on June 24, 2008, 04:53:56 pm

Dear Diary,

I went climbing with Sarah again tonight, and ended up getting pulled into the mud by Scamp and so was covered (legs and hands) and Sarah and I were having a joke and a giggle about it. Then I get home and all I get are these disapproving looks from mom! She's made me feel <this> big. To Hell with it, I didn't do it on purpose. If I had then yes I would feel bad but, no, I didn't do a damn thing wrong!

We were walking past Bulls and Scamp decided to bark non-stop at them, which made them a little aggressive, so Rosie wouldn't walk past them and so Sarah decided to run past them with Rosie but that got the Bulls more irritated so I told them not to and Rosie was shaking like a leaf, Sarah fell over and hit her knee. I heard it hit the floor THUD! We both decided to laugh about our mishaps, and we both said that we were embarrassed and wanted to cry but decided laughter was the best way to deal with it.

So yes, I smell a bit but I can't have a bath as it is too late. I've had a strip-wash and will have a bath in the morning. But dammit, I had fun. It's not like anybody got (seriously) hurt. Our pride took a few knocks but that may not have been a bad thing.

It reminds me of some of the water fights I saw in Private Home Videos earlier, which was another reason why I laughed. Why cry over spilled milk?

Luvs,
(A slightly smelly)
Vix
:-*

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Lyla on June 25, 2008, 09:31:46 am

Dear Diary,
today I showed that Im a fighter...I mustnt repeat the schoolyear and Im really, really happy!!!
Holidays started and next week Im in Berlin *yeah*
Hope well have a lot of fun!
In 3 hours Im going to meet Melanie and we watch football.
I hope Germany will win this game!
Im looking forward Sunday: me and the girls are going to visit Anja and her little baby :)
And now Im sitting and waiting...
Oh and I saw HIM today!!! OMG hes so hot!!! I would say too hot for me. No but is he really looking at me sometimes or is that just a dream?!??
Awww and now I cant see him for another 6 weeks :'(
Love, Lyla

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on June 27, 2008, 06:32:28 pm

Dear Diary

My hands are like blocks of ice as i write this as this room is sooo cold!!

I do hope me and mark get a job soon is proving much harder than we thought

Added to that stress my card is not working tho the bank say it is not blocked and is problem with authorisation our end, pissed off with it all >:(

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Lanta the Gemstar on June 28, 2008, 03:16:23 am

Dear Diary,

Well it certainly has been a busy and stressful week!

My son has been giving me "merry hell" but I've shipped him off to camp for a few days, so he may (hopefully) return with some new-found respect for me - HA! ::)

Been working more too lately...

On a happier note, I managed to sort out a few "issues" with a friend, and that makes me so glad, as I really like and respect her!! ;D


Gem

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Culpie on July 03, 2008, 12:02:18 am

Dear Diary,

I am sooooo excited! My new computer is ordered and should ship on July 9th. My little current "putie" is well over 10 years old and the memory is maxed. The new one is a Dell Inspiron 530 with a 22 inch wide screen LCD monitor, DVD reader/writer, scanner-printer, great speakers & subwoofer, Microsoft Vista, etc. Lots of memory for my scrapbooking pictures, streaming and itunes and I am getting it all for $809 dollars.

My brother & SIL are arriving tomorrow night for a month long visit. The family will be going camping. Big BBQ to celelbrate the Fourth of July and lots of fun scheduled for the whole week. It sure is going to be hard to concentrate on work.

WAHOO! 8)

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Misz_Mii on July 16, 2008, 09:34:48 am


Dear Diary,

Well I did some thinking... and I figured out that I don't have any friends with the same interests! I barely have friends, so that should not be surprising... but the "friends" that I have, aren't even that much of good friends... they're just friends at school, I figured... during vacationperiods they just vanish from this earth, it's hard to keep in touch with them.... Also during weekends, by the way. What's wrong with me? Why don't I have friends?! I need to leave this school and just go to college/university... I bet I will make tons of friends there

I also hate it that people judge me and label me when they don't know shit about me! Why do people do that? I don't do it, so why should they? Is it something they can't live without?! Gosh, diary... I just hate how people act!!

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Elijahs Impact on July 16, 2008, 10:52:56 am

Dear Diary,

I finally got my college prospectus in the mail the other day, marked off a few courses that interested me (and some that didn't)

I seem to have a little girly-crush :P

Haven't seen Sarah snce I showed her (a second time) how to play The Sims 2.

Oh! Peter got out of the rabbit run this morning and attacked Stewie again. Now I'm super-paranoid, I keep checking out my window every 5-10 minutes. He did it a few days ago. I'm going to suggest to mom that we get the rest of the metal bars and fix them to the top of the run so that he can't jump over the bars. Netting doesn't work because he likes to chew things.

Something that has been on my mind for a while now is that I want to make a short film about HIV/AIDs. It would only be about 60-90 seconds long (possibly longer) but I would really like to do it, only I don't think I can persuade anyone I know to be in it. There's still a stigma that comes with AIDs, I would hope for my short film to help dispell the stigma. I wouldn't be able to pay any-one for it which I think is the downfall of my idea. I don't really know the plot of the film yet but I really would like to do it as HIV/AIDs is one of the charities I actually hold close to my heart.

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Lanta the Gemstar on July 17, 2008, 10:14:31 am

Dear Diary,

Where do I start? I am a bit freaked out at the moment because a couple of days ago I had the very interesting experience of stumbling across my ex-fiance... on youtube!!! :o

BTW, we're talking about music videos here, nothing nasty, lol! ;)

He was a muso when we met, many moons ago, so I shouldn't really be surprised... And to tell you the truth diary, it wasn't really 'stumbling', more of 'googling' haha! ::) Don't know why I did it. Maybe just curiosity. *shrugs* Digging in the past?

Anyway, his stuff is pretty damn good (if you like electronica/techno) ;)... but to say it was disturbing is an understatement. I also saw his kids... and one of them has the same name as one of MY kids! :o

I am happily married to a wonderful guy... so as Merry said to Pippin in LOTR: "Why do you always have to look?" ??? :-[

P.S. If this doesn't make sense dear diary, I don't really care... I just had to tell somebody! 8)

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: tafika on July 17, 2008, 03:38:14 pm

Dear Diary (lol)

This has been the worst summer ever.
To start off it's 5 months long which is just TOO long!

I got a job with pitiful hours, so left it for a full time temp one that was meant to run til I go on hol, but it ended after 2 weeks. Turns out the firm lie about the time period every year, which is very unfair.

My friends here rarely go out, it's sooo dull here!

And to top it off everyone I know seems to have family troubles. People breaking up, people falling critically ill, my Grandad has been in hospital for 3 months now. And someones Grandad died a few days ago.

Doom and gloom much??!

I can't wait to go back to uni. Living with friends, being with my boyfriend. People wanting to go out on a regular basis.

Sigh. Only 2 months to go :'(

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Culpie on July 20, 2008, 07:16:18 pm

Dear Diary,

Yellowstone was lovely! The weather 70- 75F and sunny. Stayed in Grizzly RV Park which was a great campground - clean and quiet. Mum had a tough time without dad (her first trip since he died), but managed to have a good time as well. The kids thought it was great fun to have almost all the aunts and uncles there. Lots of fresh air, hiking, site-seeing, and hot dogs/hamburgers. :D Early mornings with coffee and visiting and late evenings with drinks, snacks and lots of laughter. We saw lots of wildlife (most of which we see where I live) and enjoyed the fun. We saw buffalo, moose, elk, wolves and deer.

Egad! How can email and messages pile up sooooo quickly when you are away for a week! :o I can't even begin to catch up on everything yet. I am looking forward to my last day of vacation (monday). Then I must get back to the grind and earn my keep. ;)

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on July 20, 2008, 07:47:51 pm

[color=Blue]Dear Diary

Well, Mark has a new job up at the gondola and good news for me I may have one there too!! It will be cool then could work where Mark works and not be away from him! I think will have egg on toast for my lunch at around 12.30-1pm before watching tv[/color] 8)

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Mai_o_ya on July 25, 2008, 10:43:03 am

Dear Diary

Now that i finished the house work ...and my sister watching SpaceToon i shall tell you what i've done today...i cooked the lunch ,as my mum and dad are out visiting friends...Shok said that the meal was delicious , i'm glad i did it ;D...even if i took some advices from my friend Summer ;)...

now i feel a bit bored...i may call a friend of mine to come over and stay with me till parents back :)...

Love,
Mai

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Misz_Mii on July 29, 2008, 12:32:21 pm

Dear Diary,

Wooooow going out with my cousin is the best thing ever! If only she invited me a little more often... Her friends are the best ever!! Made me realize that friends are important but I think that if I will go with her a little more often, that her friends will be mine soon... They are so nice! It's funny how most of her friends are boys... NICE boys... goodlooking boys... lol

Aw and this one guy was so sweet... he bought me drinks (read: DID NOT ALLOW ME TO BUY MY OWN DRINKS EITHER!!!) and we talked and when he wanted to sit somewhere, there was only one seat so he sat there and he told me to sit in his lap... so I did and he kissed my neck... and when I looked at him he gave me a little kiss on my lips... sooooo cute!! In the car on the way home he held my hand and rubbed my knee... and when he left he gave me a kiss again... OMG he's so cute! :P But it's been a couple of days now and we didn't exchange phone numbers or anything... So I hope I see him again someday... Oh well, we'll see ;)

I had a blast!!

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on July 29, 2008, 11:20:42 pm

Dear Diary

Why am I sad, I am in NZ a trip of a lifetime, and I am sad..I am thinking of my grandma again, but I am not crying..just sad.

I hope I dont get depressed again like I was last year and earlier this year, that would be awful for me.. :(

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Culpie on August 07, 2008, 01:31:29 am

Dear Diary,

Holy cow! :o Why does time disappear so quickly!!! It is quite alarming!

Tried Zumba the other day! What a fun way to get a workout! It must be admitted that my rythmn needs a little work. :D

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on August 07, 2008, 01:35:38 am

Dear Diary

I am so happy and excited, I got an interview next tuesday at 10.30, so cool, I hope I get it :D

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Billswife on August 30, 2008, 06:59:26 pm

Dear Diary,

Not that it matters but I have to vent.

Less than an hour ago I sent my husband off to the pub with both the tallest and fattest man I've ever seen. His best friend. I did not like this man at all the first few times met him. Thank heaven I get along with him now because I am fairly certain he will be sleeping on our couch tonight.

What's more my husband looked fantastic, big brown eyes, long lashes little pout going...((sighs bitterly)). AND he went out in the new cologne I bought him. >:(

I hope he behaves, I am usually a very chill wife :-\. I told Joey to keep an eye on my boo for me. >:(

Men. I'm about over them...except for Elijah Wood and Orlando bloom.

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on August 30, 2008, 07:28:14 pm

dear diary it is going to rain thursday so yet again no horse trekking >:(
Mark needs to ring in sick tomorrow or Tuesday as supposed to be sunny

I hope we can still go.. :(

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: raquel19 on August 30, 2008, 07:46:16 pm

Dear Diary,
Hope NLT new single will come out soon. And while they are doing their tours they will stop by in Canada. So, I can see them!
Yours truly,
Raquel

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Lanta the Gemstar on August 31, 2008, 09:29:59 am

Dear Diary,

Is it the moon or something? Why are all my friends going through such tough times atm? If only I could offer some practical help! ::) It's just no good like this with everyone so far away. :P

I've just felt sick as a dog this weekend even tho I'm not actually sick physically if that makes any sense whatsoever...

I'm praying for a change. :)

Gem

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on August 31, 2008, 08:01:12 pm

Dear Diary

Yay, I had an interview for a cleaning job, hope I get it :D

I've not been this happy in a long time :)

I just hope it lasts ::)

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Culpie on September 07, 2008, 01:37:30 pm

Dear Diary,

We got our first snow in the mountains last week. Fall is definitely here...the flowers, trees and fields are really starting to show that autumn glow. It has been raining off and on for the last couple of days for which I am grateful. There are rumors of a possible "normal" snowy winter surfacing....and there are certainly signs indicating that this is true. Time will tell.

A big ole black bear walked down the driveway today. It is the first time I have seen one here. While hiking around our 40 acres i have seen the bear scat, but never him. Let me just say he was BIG and healthy. His black coat was thick and shiny. I love black bear...they are pretty interesting critters.


Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on September 08, 2008, 03:30:34 am

Dear Diary

Mark is ill with the flu, hope he gets better for Friday when we going Arthur's Pass!! New housemates moved in today but not seen or spoke to them yet!

:)

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Misz_Mii on September 10, 2008, 08:04:34 am

Dear Diary,

Yep, I like him alot... It's so weird, I don't know if I'm in love or not, but when he's around I feel special. But when he's not... I kinda miss him but it's different this time than last time... Oh well I want something to happen anyways haha

It's funny how every song suddenly makes sense in some way, how every song has at least one line that says a little something about me... I love how I can basically tell my life by lyrics

Oh well every lovesong makes me think of him, eventhough I haven't spent as much time with him as I'd want... I will have to make a move soon... If only I knew what he thought, what he wanted in girl.. I could ask, of course.. But what if he doesn't want a girlfriend? Oh well... we'll see what happens :)

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on September 11, 2008, 05:35:09 am

Dear Diary

Mark has been ill with the flu for a few days, he still not well. Tomorrow we go to Arthur's Pass till Sunday for a break.

When we get back we only have till Friday before we move on again to the West Coast 'Ross' to work on a farm for four weeks :)

Then onto Arrowtown near Queenstown if all goes well.

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Culpie on October 13, 2008, 11:23:28 pm

Dear Diary,

Things seem mighty quiet around lately. :-\

We got our first snow on Saturday, but it is mostly melted now. I am watching the economy and really wondering if the bottom will drop out after the election. I kinda feel that is will. :-\

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on October 13, 2008, 11:46:16 pm

Dear Diary

Well this is the first time I have not enjoyed being here since my episode of depression cpl months ago. Can't wait to move to Glenorchy Friday get out of this place. Can't stand our arrogant unrespectful boss!!!
A please/Thankyou would not go amiss, a little respect for your workers.

He pisses me off >:( :(

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Elijahs Impact on December 05, 2008, 05:25:11 pm

Dear Diary,

Please can I marry John Boland? I like him SO much! I like him more than chocolate, I like him more than money, more than music. PLEASE!! I spoke to him about quiteness and he pretty much said "Victoria, it's ok. As long as you're enjoying the class it doesn't matter." SO SWEET! he was quiet in class too apparently. I tried to record our conversation on my MP3 player but I don't think I pressed the damn record buton! I'll just check. I've got Richard talking and a bit of John's voice, so deep and majestic. This may be going on the forum later for no other reason than to say 'He has a really sexy voice!' He-he! I wonder what I would have done, how I would have reacted if it was John sending me 'nice' messages instead of James...I may have reacted the same but I probably would have sent a message back. I'd like to think so. When he looks at you, MY GOD! And he's a Celtics fan.

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: maryd on December 06, 2008, 06:40:27 am

Dear diary,

I need to get my head screwed on. The biggest decision I've had to make in my life so far needs to be done by the 15th of December, and I have nowhere near my mind made up yet. Why don't I ever get a break? Seems like I only get over one huge thing before another crops up. Will I ever get some peace?

Yours, Mary

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Billswife on January 25, 2009, 05:02:46 am

Dear Diary,

I haven't been on A+F in a while and its nice to stop back by.

It's fun posting in here, If I want to obsess and talk nonstop about Elijah and Frodo and this place never minds that...not one bit.
:)

(Course the pple in my daily life don't have the capacity to discuss Frolijah on a 24 hour a day level.)

It's also the very early hours of the morning. I woke up at 2:00 am today. But the web is always open. 24 hour access to get all the Frodo you want.

Its better than 7-11.

And what's really really impressive to me is that back in 2001 I used to have to wait until the theaters were open. Then I had to go and pay $6.00 for a ticket, then I'd have to wait through all the other actors doing their lines JUST to look at Frodo's face. (Don't get me wrong everybody in that movie was GREAT but by this time I'd already seen the movie 3 or 4 times)

Now I just come in here, log on...Voila! Frodo! It's just so convenient. Why wasn't I in here before I wonder. :-\ :o :)


Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: maryd on January 25, 2009, 07:07:29 am

Dear diary,

Oh, come on. Even I think this is getting beyond a joke. Why does my life just keep tripping me up? I know I'm moaning unncessarily, and it's my own fault, but still. I just want a break. Roll on summer.

yours, mary

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Lyla on January 29, 2009, 08:24:51 am

Dear diary,

how can I read his signs?
Are there any???
OMG... dont know what to do and I have to wait sooo long until I can see him again...4 long days :(

Yours Lyla

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on January 30, 2009, 03:39:56 am

why cant i ever make a life long friend in real life :(

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Billswife on February 05, 2009, 12:00:18 am

Dear Diary,

I figured out what I want and am in love with. I love "Farmer John"...I decided. Who is he?
Well he's just slightly taller than I am, he's got a couple acres of land..good farmland.
He's got brown hair..curly and a white cotton shirt. He wears suspenders and drinks hot black coffee after dinner on the porch.

He's got rough hands and a soft heart.

Farmer John is a loner, also who loves peace and quiet. He doesn't want kids either but he's got a couple of dogs.

Here's to the imaginary farmer John... :)

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Misz_Mii on September 01, 2009, 05:26:24 am

Dear Diary...

Haven't heard of me in a while now and so much has happened. Things didn't work out with me and Vincent, because he decided to sleep with my best friend Almira, who is now obviously not my best friend anymore... that backstabbing wh*re...

And then there was a long period of nothingness... and there was Wesley... all over me and telling me how much he liked me and how much he wanted to be in a serious relationship... we fooled around and we had a great time... good talks, nice kisses... good connection... At least... I thought we did, because all of the sudden he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore... Like?! HELLO?!?! Why always with me?!

Then I fell in love with him, in vain, obviously... then a couple of weeks later there was Michael... totally crazy about me, totally in love with me, texting me, calling me, so nice. All I had to do is fall in love with him... Something I'm good at... at least... Usually. Not now... I just didn't fall in love with him... but it were only 3 weeks... things happened so fast... we dated... nothing happened on the first... second, we kissed... and everytime after that kiss we would kiss when we'd meet up... I went over to his place, he came over to mine... we fooled around... Yes diary, I've been a sl*tty girl in the past 2 months... I'm sorry... but whatever. I just didn't fall in love and my parents didn't like him much... so I told him things couldn't work out. God, do I regret that!! I miss him so much, I want to be with him... But as I said... When I close things off, I don't open them up again... I don't go back... And it's not because I don't want to... Or because it's my principals right now... It's because my parents don't like him... I'd go back to him in a heartbeat... I guess I kinda did fall for him... After I shut things off... God... I hate this... he's crushed, still... even now, 9 days later he says he feels bad and that he misses me... and I thought he was a player... Everyone did... I wanted to give him a chance... my parents didn't... Was it the right decision? Oh well, we'll never know, cause we just can't be...

And now... my cousins best friend comes out of nowhere telling me he likes me and wants to be with me... we dated, he kissed me, held my hand... and AGAIN... NO FEELINGS!!! Good God... What's up with me?! Why do boys want to move so quickly? Why do they think I will walk away from them? What makes them think that when I go out with them and they don't kiss me, I'll move on? As if a kiss is binding?! A kiss means nothing to me in the very beginning... it's just nice... when you continue, a kiss means a huge deal. But in the beginning it's just nice to kiss. God, why do boys do things like this?!

Dear Diary, I don't know what to do anymore, I just... I don't know... Michael means a lot to me now and it's so sad to see him broken like this and there's nothing I can do... it's tearing me apart....

Love
Pam.

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on September 18, 2009, 04:04:14 am

feel good today :)

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: jen10 on September 18, 2009, 06:10:39 pm

dear diary,

my throat is on FIRE! i'm VERY VERY VERY ill... :-X :P :'( sooo sick...

my friend is mad at me for it too! like, it's not my fault i can't attend her show when i'm sick! what is wrong with her?!

on top of that, my family and my other friends don't give a damn. god...it's like every step that i take is another mistake to everyone. and it's not my fault that i'm sick!!! it's not like i wake up one morning and go, "oh, i think i'll be sick today!" NOO! >:( :( it's not fair for them to act like this...!

and...i can't stop blamming myself for living...and in pain...

i miss my sister and grandmother...why did they have to die? why them?

ok...well...i'm done.

love,

jen10

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on September 26, 2009, 10:28:10 am

dear diary

got myself and interview at costa coffee on tuesday :D

yours

liz

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: jen10 on September 26, 2009, 12:58:06 pm

dear diary,

got through the week...the weekend is here!

got meds from my doctor and now i am better. :)

only thing is...all my friends are busy...ugg, no fun.

love,

jen10

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: Misz_Mii on March 23, 2010, 11:48:09 am

Dear Diary,

Thank God for this thread, because I need to vent and get things straightened out...

Were to start...? Well lets start with therapy... It's okay... Me? I'm doing aweful right this minute... I feel fed up and nothing is right. Everything is wrong right now and nothing can get my thoughts aligned properly... it's all a big mess in my head.

I feel like I'm lying to EVERYBODY, including myself. I'm not doing good, I'm doing pretty bad. My heads a mess and still I tell myself I'm doing great. I lie to myself, because I don't want to be weak and lose control. I lie to everybody, got my mask back out and back on again, manipulating everybody into believing me. And it's working out. People don't know shit about me. They don't care about my real feelings. Nobody digs deep enough. They ask me how I feel I say okay. They never ask why I'm okay and not good. They never ask anything. Maybe I'd never tell them... Well that's not true... I'd tell Sander... I love him. If only he'd ask me what's on my mind... God, it'd be aweful... but I'd be honest... He'd be able to read me. Right?

I'm a horrible person for doing what I do. Why the hell does this have to be like this right now? Come on... It's not even THAT bad... it's been worse, before... but I'm slipping right back... Sander thinks I won't do anything when he's with me, so he has to be with me every second of the day. Truth is: I do what the f*ck I want, even when he's there. I won't be stopped by him. I won't be stopped by anything other than my feelings. But God, it's so hard... It's so hard to keep myself from doing things.

I want to cut myself to shreds. For real this time... I feel like developing an eating disorder. I already have the binges, so the only thing I have to do is throw it back up. I gues it'd make me feel better, because I'd finally get thin. I'm a fat girl, I'm such a fat-ass cow. Seriously... I can't understand why Sander is with me. I'm sick in my head and I'm fat. Who wants a fat girl?! Who wants a girl who wants an eating disorder? Do I really want the eating disorder or do I just want to lose weight? Meh I don't know anymore.... I really don't... I'm sick... I'm twisted... I'm nuts...

I'm scared... scared of losing what I have... scared of hurting others... scared of ending up alone... scared of being weak... scared of failing... scared of failing, yes, that's the biggest fear. When you fail, everything is lost... Everything you did was for nothing. Who wants to do things for nothing? I can't ever be weak and admit my problems. That's just stupid... maybe I should quit therapy... Or maybe I should talk to her about this? I don't know... She won't understand. She doesn't understand me anyways... I don't even understand me, so I don't blame her.

Dear diary,
My life right now is just f*cked up... But when I see my baby again, everything is alright. He's the light in my darkness... I love him... He's so good to me... But when he's not here... God, darkness surrounds me and I'm alone again and life is f*cked up. I need to be fixed...

Yours.

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: maryd on March 23, 2010, 12:55:21 pm

Dear Diary,

Sorry I forgot about you. :P I guess I'm not much good at keeping things updated - I'm sure if I didn't have to go to class every day, I'd be one of those people that shut themselves off from the world completely and only occasionally emerge from their hiding-places. I'd love to just close my curtains and curl up and hide right now, I've had enough of constantly worrying about Life In General. I always promise myself that if I can make it through til, say, Wednesday, or next Thursday, or the 26th, then everything will be OK. But it's only lately I've realised how pointless it is to say that to myself, because no sooner does one worry subside that another crops up. It's truly exhausting. And I don't like whining in public, but sometimes venting needs to be done.

Yours,
Mary

Title: Re:Our dear Diary!
Post by: elizabeth coffey on March 24, 2010, 11:58:12 am

[quote author=Young&Desperate 4Attention{DA} link=board=7;threadid=33249;start=90#msg1192467 date=1269359289]
Dear Diary,

Thank God for this thread, because I need to vent and get things straightened out...

Were to start...? Well lets start with therapy... It's okay... Me? I'm doing aweful right this minute... I feel fed up and nothing is right. Everything is wrong right now and nothing can get my thoughts aligned properly... it's all a big mess in my head.

I feel like I'm lying to EVERYBODY, including myself. I'm not doing good, I'm doing pretty bad. My heads a mess and still I tell myself I'm doing great. I lie to myself, because I don't want to be weak and lose control. I lie to everybody, got my mask back out and back on again, manipulating everybody into believing me. And it's working out. People don't know shit about me. They don't care about my real feelings. Nobody digs deep enough. They ask me how I feel I say okay. They never ask why I'm okay and not good. They never ask anything. Maybe I'd never tell them... Well that's not true... I'd tell Sander... I love him. If only he'd ask me what's on my mind... God, it'd be aweful... but I'd be honest... He'd be able to read me. Right?

I'm a horrible person for doing what I do. Why the hell does this have to be like this right now? Come on... It's not even THAT bad... it's been worse, before... but I'm slipping right back... Sander thinks I won't do anything when he's with me, so he has to be with me every second of the day. Truth is: I do what the f*ck I want, even when he's there. I won't be stopped by him. I won't be stopped by anything other than my feelings. But God, it's so hard... It's so hard to keep myself from doing things.

I want to cut myself to shreds. For real this time... I feel like developing an eating disorder. I already have the binges, so the only thing I have to do is throw it back up. I gues it'd make me feel better, because I'd finally get thin. I'm a fat girl, I'm such a fat-ass cow. Seriously... I can't understand why Sander is with me. I'm sick in my head and I'm fat. Who wants a fat girl?! Who wants a girl who wants an eating disorder? Do I really want the eating disorder or do I just want to lose weight? Meh I don't know anymore.... I really don't... I'm sick... I'm twisted... I'm nuts...

I'm scared... scared of losing what I have... scared of hurting others... scared of ending up alone... scared of being weak... scared of failing... scared of failing, yes, that's the biggest fear. When you fail, everything is lost... Everything you did was for nothing. Who wants to do things for nothing? I can't ever be weak and admit my problems. That's just stupid... maybe I should quit therapy... Or maybe I should talk to her about this? I don't know... She won't understand. She doesn't understand me anyways... I don't even understand me, so I don't blame her.

Dear diary,
My life right now is just f*cked up... But when I see my baby again, everything is alright. He's the light in my darkness... I love him... He's so good to me... But when he's not here... God, darkness surrounds me and I'm alone again and life is f*cked up. I need to be fixed...

Yours.

[/quote]

Hang in there Pam, PM me if you need to :-*

Dear Diary

I am feeling fine with my life in general at the moment. Looking forward to celebrating Marks 30th this Friday and returning to New Zealand for a further year with hopes of getting sponsored but if we have to come back to UK, so be it. It would be our dream come true to eventually get residency for NZ and I believe if that is what is meant to happen life will find a way and we will realise our dream. :)

yours

Elizabeth


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