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				« Other » => Members & Newbies => Message started by: Young&Desperate 4Attention{DA} on November 25, 2009, 04:36:48 pm

Title: Discussing my 'Attitude'
Post by: Misz_Mii on November 25, 2009, 04:36:48 pm

Okay I think it's not about the Kick a Ginger Day anymore, so I'm just going to make a new thread about this, because obviously 3 people have issues with me. And I want to know why.

[quote author=Damita Jackson link=board=5;threadid=33885;start=0#msg1186340 date=1259157361]
[quote author=Young&Desperate 4Attention{DA} link=board=5;threadid=33885;start=0#msg1186307 date=1259141680]
Okay first of all, let me clarify myself, because obviously I gave the wrong impression. I find it extremely hilarious that people are actually as stupid as they are to make up a day like Kick a Ginger-day. I mean, seriously... What's wrong in your brain when you make something like that up?[/quote]If one person had taken offence to what you said then yes it would have been a misunderstanding but given that THREE of us have I think it is your fault rather than ours.

[quote author=Young&Desperate 4Attention{DA} link=board=5;threadid=33885;start=0#msg1186254 date=1259076575]
OMG Am I the only one who finds this extremely hilarious? Haha seriously... When is the Punch a Blonde-day and Slap a Brunette? Come on people, waste your time on other things, please![/quote]Your initial statement suggests that you DO find it "hilarious" that people are beaten for having red hair. Maybe next time you say something like that you should consider your words more carefully.

[quote author=Young&Desperate 4Attention{DA} link=board=5;threadid=33885;start=0#msg1186307 date=1259141680]
if you people would have read previous comments on other threads by me, you would KNOW I do NOT EVER approve of violence.[/quote]Pamela; "us people" DO read your comments in other thread and that is why I have pulled you up on this statement. Most of the things you say to people hurts them but none of us dare take you task about what you have said because you always shout us down. You talk to most of the people here as if they are five year olds. Not only that but you treat us all like idiots and you are the most intelligent person here. You have a severe attitude problem, and THAT is why I said you should consider another career track. You need to learn to talk to people with the same respect that you demand from them. And that young lady, cannot be taught at University.

[quote author=Young&Desperate 4Attention{DA} link=board=5;threadid=33885;start=0#msg1186307 date=1259141680]
With that being said, I hope I have eased all of your tempers and I hope some of you can take back the horrible comments they've made. They were insulting to me as a person, I feel insulted for saying what I actually think and how I feel[/quote]You say the things we wrote offended you and so you want an apology, well the things you wrote offended us so should we expect an honest and genuine apology from you?

[quote author=Young&Desperate 4Attention{DA} link=board=5;threadid=33885;start=0#msg1186307 date=1259141680]
I respect your thoughts and feelings and I expect you to respect mine as well. I don't expect it, honestly, I demand it. Just like you all demand to be respected. I am hurt by your comment, Vic, I thought you'd never say anything like that. I don't think you have the right to judge whether I'd be a good psychologist or not. I'm sorry, Vic, it's just not right to say things like that when you know it's my purpose in life. You question my skills and me as a person and it's hurting me big time.[/quote]I gave an honest opinion, Pam. Surely I'm allowed to share an honest opinion...? I don't say hurtful things for the sake of of hurting someone, that is not in my nature. But you offended me and my beleiefs and so that took presidence over anything else. You say psychology is your purosse, well elimnating racism and discrimination is my purpose in life. I question your skills talking to people which is a vital thing in psychology.

[quote author=Young&Desperate 4Attention{DA} link=board=5;threadid=33885;start=0#msg1186307 date=1259141680]
I do NOT approve of Kick-a-Ginger-Day, I just thought it was funny how STUPID people actually are to think up those kinda stupid things.[/quote]Even finding "it funny" that people hate each other is hurtful to me. I find it disgusting that people hate, I would never describe it as "funny". Consider your words.

Okay, first of all I'm sorry if sometimes I have issues with finding the right words to say and to bring my opinion to you guys in a good way. I'm sorry, I'm not perfect, I'm sorry, I will never be and I'm sorry that sometimes I might offend people with it. But I thought you guys knew me and knew that I would never approve of things like this and I thought you guys would ask me what I'd mean by saying things like that. I thought you'd take it differently, maybe because I do know what I mean, or maybe because.. I don't know, it's obvious that you didn't take it the way I meant it and I think it's a pitty that you didn't think that maybe I meant something different.

Second... How exactly do I shout you guys down? I never have?! I've never treated anyone like kids and I certainly do NOT act like I am the expert around here. I just try to have discussions going on over here, I like to see what people think and how people feel about certain topics and I like to see how people respond to different opinions and how their opinions change when you show them another point of view. Seriously, how have I not respected others? How have I ever been disrespectful and how have I ever shown I have 'severe attitude problems'?!

What I think is a shame is that Victoria, Marit and Jen seem to think I do have these 'severe attitude problems' and that I treat people with disrespect, but why have NONE of you ever told me to act differently? Is it really because I am the one with 'severe attitude problems' or is it because you are right now upset with me because I expressed myself in a wrong way? Is it really because of my way of acting or is it rather because right now you need someone to vent at? And don't come and tell me that it's me, shouting down people who try to tell me I'm being unreasonable. Because I am really not. I try to be the best person I can be, I try to be as honest as possible and I try to be as nice as possible and I'm ALWAYS open for critique. You can come and tell me that you don't like this or that about me and I will think about what I did. If you're right, I change my ways and if I feel you're not right, I'll explain why I do what I do, why I say what I say, but I will always apologize for offending you or tell you it was never my intention to hurt you. Because I NEVER EVER try to hurt or offend ANYONE, I want everybody to be happy and I don't want to be the one to cause someone to be sad.

I do want to apologize right here, right now, for offending people, I never intended to do so, as you all know I never would. I find it sad that I even have to write a post like this, but I just want to clarify everything. I want to know what it actually is that bothers you so much about me, is it just the comment or is it really me as a person?

Still, I am hurt by the comments on my skills and my study and I feel really bad. I don't believe any of you meant anything you said, I think it's just anger talking. I believe you people want the best for me and you believe in me, so I will try not to think about those comments anymore, but it's pretty hard.

So, to make a long story short: I want to know why you guys think I've got 'severe attitude problems', why you never confronted me, I want to say I'm very sorry for offending people, but it was never my intention and I want to say I'm still deeply hurt by the comments made.

I hope any of you will reply.

Title: Re:Discussing my 'Attitude'
Post by: LijFrodo on November 25, 2009, 06:41:16 pm

[color=Green]Hey Hun ! ...

I had lived something like this in another site in internet ... Some persons sometimes understand you wrongly.But,some persons understand you rightly and they act oddly and interesting.If they understand you wrongly,you should explain all of your idea clearly again.If they act and write oddly,best thing to do is being silent and living without them a while.I admit,I couldn't understand your all problem completely because of my terrible english.But,I hope,I can help you ! ... :)[/color]

Title: Re:Discussing my 'Attitude'
Post by: maryd on November 26, 2009, 07:30:37 am

Pamela - I knew you didn't mean any harm or offence in your comment on the other thread, and I think your apology was genuinly-meant and polite. To be perfectly honest, I've never noticed an attitude problem on this forum before - you certainly don't talk down to people or act as though you are the smartest person here, in my experience; and you've always come across as very open-minded to me. Hope this helps you. :-*

Title: Re:Discussing my 'Attitude'
Post by: Misz_Mii on November 26, 2009, 07:50:27 am

Thank you ladies, I just feel bad, because obviously I've hurt people and I am a bad person in their eyes, so I want to see what they mean and explain myself. I want to defend myself, because I really am not a bad person. Far from. But I hope that everybody who feels I'm a trouble-maker here speaks their mind, because I'm now ASKING for opinions and if there comes no response, I can obviously conclude that I am not at all a problem.

Title: Re:Discussing my 'Attitude'
Post by: elizabeth coffey on November 26, 2009, 01:23:17 pm

Hey Pam, first of all I know you are a nice person and don't mean anyone any hurt or upset. After reading all your comments I come to the conclusion you maybe on some occasions should have thought more about your comments before posting them, not that you meant to upset anyone by them but they do come across that way. But like mary said your apology was sincere and heartfelt, so I for one accept your apology. Take care :-*

Title: Re:Discussing my 'Attitude'
Post by: I_LOVE_MY_BOYZ on December 08, 2009, 11:33:18 pm

Lol, internet drama.

Okay, so.... It's kind of obvious I rarely get on this forum anymore. But, when I do pop in on occasions, Pam has usually commented on whatever topic I look at. As far as I can tell... she is just as nice as anyone else on this board. Honestly, this board is full of insanely nice people... utterly fearful of hurting someone's feelings and incredibly apologetic if they do. I'm not saying that's a bad thing; I'm just saying it's rare.

I didn't see the entire thread about the "kick the ginger day" ... but, from what was posted, Pam was laughing at how stupid people were for creating a day. Therefore, she was not laughing at the day itself, but rather people's stupidity. Does that mean she condones this stupidity? No. It means she found it amusing for that split moment she was typing out her post. Have you ever seen someone fall down and snickered or grinned or even EL OH EL'd? That doesn't mean you're condoning, approving of, or even glad they fell... it means that for that split moment, you thought it was funny. That doesn't make you an evil person...

Also, to Pam, you should not consider changing your career. If you want to be a counselor, then you should strive to do so.

And as a final note to consider ... This is the internet, folks. You can't hear people's tone, fathom their intentions, or read their body language when they are tucked away behind their computer. For that reason, we should all strive to be a little extra understanding when reading a comment that may seem offensive... The person who wrote it may have said so jokingly, but it is sometimes hard to convey that through text alone. For instance, I am not sure how this post will "sound" to anyone else who reads it... but as I have typed it, I have had a very calm and explanatory voice in my head.

This truly is a good forum community. One of the best i've ever seen. I'd really hate to see it destroyed over a few misunderstood or wrongly taken comments. :-\

Title: Re:Discussing my 'Attitude'
Post by: elizabeth coffey on December 09, 2009, 02:02:31 am

Couldn't have put it better myself Jess :)

Title: Re:Discussing my 'Attitude'
Post by: Culpie on January 01, 2010, 06:06:00 pm

Hmmmmm...that was interesting.

Pam, no worries chickie-pea. ;) Don't question yourself or put too much stock in what some people say online. It is the Internet. Many times reading through posts it becomes apparent some folks are contending with major issues. Don't take on their personal demons. Sometimes it is best to let them "vent their spleen" and not respond.

You have always been pleasant, humorous and helpful. Don't let things like this disturb your peace or plans. :-*

Title: Re:Discussing my 'Attitude'
Post by: raquel19 on January 08, 2010, 11:34:06 pm

I agree.
Pam, you really seem like a nice person :)
From that thread I think most people undertsood you were just laughing for the people who thought it was funny to kick a ginger or whatever. Like the one user said up above (Jess_B)

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